there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
