Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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