yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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