just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
