so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
