She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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