I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
