My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
