Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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