one two three fourrrrnication!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
