Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
