I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
