She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
