True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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