I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
