Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
