I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
