No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
