The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
