she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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