so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
