i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
