I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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