You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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