2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
