we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
