Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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