A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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