he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
