So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You ruined the universe
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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