He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
