kristin has been a bad kristin
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
