Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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