just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
