Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
