I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
