Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We need to get me chipped asap
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
