I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
