I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
