Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
