i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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