I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wish my penis had a tongue
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
