Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
