dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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