got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
