you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He better not be in your backpack
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
