so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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