Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
worst night to have a conscience
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
