$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
