Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
