Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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